Motion in poetry?

Motion

You’re crying here, but there they’re dancing,

there they’re dancing in your tear.

There they’re happy, making merry,

they don’t know a blessed thing.

Almost the glimmering of mirrors.

Almost candles flickering.

Nearly staircases and hallways.

Gestures, lace cuffs, so it seems.

Hydrogen, oxygen, those rascals.

Chlorine, sodium, a pair of rogues.

The fop nitrogen parading

up and down, around, about

beneath the vault, inside the dome.

Your crying’s music to their ears.

Yes, eine kleine Nachtmusik.

Who are you, lovely masquerader.

The perception of motion in writing is an interesting concept because a writer must elicit not just imagery in the reader’s mind, but dynamic imagery. This poem does not strive for elaborate images, however. Simple words like “dancing,” “glimmering,” “flickering,” “gestures,” “rogues,” and “parading” lend a perception of action and activity within the poem. Also, the elements hydrogen, oxygen, chlorine, and sodium are highly reactive in their elemental forms which will also add to the “motion” of the poem, if the reader is familiar with chemistry. In addition, notice how the poet says “almost the glimmering,” “almost candles flickering,” and “nearly staircases.” There is never any completion and only perpetual motion.

Despite the active diction, I believe there are elements of the poem that hinder the perception of motion and perhaps this relates to the occasion of the poem. Enjambment, which would create a hurried feel while reading the poem, occurs only in the 11^th and twelfth lines. The abundance of end-line punctuation seems counterintuitive for a poem utilizing active words as it stops the reader at the same time every line. There is no unpredictability or acceleration in this technique. Also, there are several multisyllabic words that don’t exactly roll off the tongue: “glimmering,” “hydrogen,” “oxygen,” “sodium,” “nitrogen,” “Nachtmusik, and “masquerader.” These words slow the reader down in his reading and complement the punctuation well.

It seems that the occasion of the poem is a person crying alone at a party while everyone else is having fun and in motion. The contrast between the state of the loner (alone, still) and that of the partygoers (dancing, active) directly relates to the presence of both active diction and end-line punctuation.